All children need to know that there is more to life than “me me me”.
The age at which the sense of gratitude appears will vary from child to child. Kids as young as 18 months, before they could talk, could sigh thank you or give a kiss or hug and show gratitude.
Some points to how we can achieve this
- Start with basics: A very basic manners like saying thank you, excuse me, please are a great place to start in building a foundation of appreciation. Sharing is also a very good intro to appreciation. It is very important that they know the impact of the action they did. eg. If your kid shares ball with his friend, instead of praising him every time, thank him and let him know how happy was his friend to have him shared the ball.
- Tackle the greedy behavior: These days children are loosing opportunities to care and share, solve problems collaborately and simply play together, which is so crucial for developing important social skills and sense of solidarity with one another. Our kids get-get-get all the time. And most parents don’t realize that this almost subconscious string of purchases will have a lasting impact on their children's expectations. We should explain the meaning of less consumption to our kids, why that’s important and what that means in day to day life.
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- Delegate them responsibility: Its hard to appreciate other peoples hard work and effort if you have not been on the giving end yourself. Giving kids responsibility gets them to focus on what they can give and do rather than what they can get. We don’t have to wait until kids are old enough for house cleaning - even toddlers can help unload grocery bag or put napkins on the diner table.
- Teach money management: Money also plays a very important role in kids ability to be grateful. We should set limits on our spending which helps kids learn to prioritize and this is really important thing when we are talking about nurturing gratitude. We should teach our children appreciation for money and the cost of acquiring things. Allowance is a great thing to start teaching them money management.
- Be persistent: Some time we may feel, there is no progress at all even after putting so much of effort to give our kids good manners. But we may be pleasantly surprised. Kids are not on their best behavior at home, they display out their generosity and compassion when they are outside, rather than at home.
Kids are always obsessed with what other kids have. First we should try get their frustration down and then let them know many people don’t have as much as they have. We could start tradition of charity work and donation. Children as young as age 3, can be encouraged to go through their belongings and pick out an item to donate. We should expose our kids to people from all walks of life. We often try to shield out children from those who are less fortunate. But it is important that kids know how lucky they are. Ask them questions like “can you imagine how difficult it would be to not to have a home”- that get our kids to put themselves in some one elses shoes. Simultaneously assure them that your family will always have a place to call home.
